betrayal

have u ever feel cold steel run through your body before??? a bullet? a steel pipe??? or maybe a KNIFE???!!! well... i have... and i guess that having that in me isn't as fun as it sounds or looks... but i don't mean it literally of course... i mean getting stab at the back... to ever call them brothers and they do nothing to appreciate the things u do... to call them best frenz when toy with u like your some kind of machine... to call them frenz when they do nothing to help u out...

for some reason... i keep on telling myself that being kind to other or at least be generous to them would be the right thing to do... and it is... its not about the thing u get in return... its just becoz its right... but... for all these years... i've done my part for my frenz and they did nothing for me... sure they treat me to a meal or 2... but still... they stab me in the back by doing nothing... i needed their to solve my problems... wat do they do?? nothing...

i'm sick of it... i'm sick of my life... i'm sick of having to call these people my frenz who stabs me in the back... and i'm sick of getting scolded for the things i didn't do... wat does the world has against me... living in a rich family when i can't share anything with the people i care most... maybe i'm just not meant to have frenz...

u know... i don't get it... if they were really my frenz... they would do wat they can to help me solve this problem... huh... but who was i kidding... i don't have frenz... i'm always alone in this world... i guess that god doesn't 1 me to have frenz... to live in the shadows forever... -.-...

romance in a dream

u know... i've been telling myself... will i ever find a girl??? and sometime.. i just let myself down and say "with how i look now, there's just no way your gonna find a girl!!!" but wat are the odds of that... a million to 1??? haha... but but that wat i'm about to tell u...

dear fellow readers,
as strange as this may be... i'm about to lead u to a world which u never seen before... a world where great things happen... a world where a the greatest unfold its beauty upon us... a world which i like to call it my mind... haha... just gonna tell u a dream i had i few days ago... ^^

well... this is how it started... i was at home doing nothing... then sudden;y i poped in a restaurant with the girls of my dreams... we were havin a candle light dinner and there was a guy playing a violin just for us... he played the night away as i bask at her beauty and how she looked that night... she was wearin a very very nice dress... white in color... and i wasn't sure about me... i guess i was to distracted by how she looked... after dinner... we went for a walk at the beach at night... the moon a round and bright and the starts was shining bright... it was as if we were suppose to be together that night...

so as we walk... our feet got tired... well... her feet got tired... so we sat at a bench that was facing the ocean... and as we sat down... i felt awkward becoz me and her weren't talking... its was strange... then out of no where... she touched my hand and leaned on my shoulder... she pulled my hand over her and put my hand around her shoulder... and of course... i felt more then awkward... i felt happy... never in my life i felt this happy...

as we sat there watching the moon shine upon us... she said to me in her sweet sweet voice " i had a wonderful night and i can believe i can spend this night with u"... i smiled and laughed a little... i told her something to... "u know wat?? this is my first time falling in love... and i can't believe that i can fall in love with u!!!" at that moment... i woke up... and straight away... i EMO!!!! -.-