how does it feel to be surrounded by frenz but u don't even know 1 of them??? how does it feel to have all the knowledge in the world but u can't use any of it??? how does it feel when u have all the money in the world but its worthless??? i'll tell u how it feels... u feel cooled and unwanted... u feel useless and meaningless... u feel like all your hardwork put up for nothing... I... for 1... FEEL's LOST...

there r many things that we do that never consider into the world... and most people would tell me to wake up from wat i'm in... to me... i'm already awake... to c that this is reality... i don't know wat to do... sometimes i feel that me existing in this life is a wrong thing for the God's to do... i'm not exactly a bad person... i don't steal.. i don't vandalise... i don't take drugs... i simply enjoy wat life has to offer... but neither am i a good person... i don't help the needy... i don't help the old... i simply live my own life where i can live in peace...

for 1 thing that i know... to be myslef is just not enuff... it seems that being myself surrounds me with frenz... but being myself or some 1 else can never get me a true frend who helps me when i need help... some1 to get me back up my feet when i fall... some1 who truly understands me... but i c now that all i have r just frenz... though i appreciate wat i have... but to c that myself alone with nothing... nothing but me and my shadow sitting together... is just... pethatic... i feel lost... i feel... ALONE...

DREAM!!!

Dreams... wat r they??? to me... there illusions of wat the heart desires... have u ever dream before??? huh... wat a i saying... of course u have... everybody is an equal right??? even the brainless can dream... no doubt about it... but have u ever wondered that maybe u can make your dream a reality??? well.. i have... in fact... i tried several times but my dreams where often ended up dead... every time my dreams dies... i change a new 1...

wat r my dreams really... at 1st wanted to be a celebrity chef... cooking all the food that i like and serving them to the people with a smile... to be on tv where some kid would watch me do a cooking show and follow my recepies...



i wanna be like these people... working hard in the kitchen ... make the food taste the best... wear 1 of those hat all them fancy chefs are wearin and make the world know who made these delicious foods... but... alas, this can only remain as a dream...

i knew that being a chef is impossible in my reality where my mom and dad would say (more to me mom), "there is no future for u in a chef... its so hard to be 1... u have to stand in frint of a hot stove everyday and stand the whole day and bla bla bla...." i didn;t catch the last part but the main thing is that my mom wouldn't let me be a chef... its not that i can't cook... i can cook... i cooked up some amzing stuff, ican tell u that... hahaha but my parents just wouldn't let this dream come true...

anyhoos... since my dream of being a well known chef could never happened... i took on another dream... to c the stars at a distent place... like space... to actually be in space where i can c the how the sun actually look like wiht my own to eyes... to c how the moon looks like... to c how the earth looks like... no more videos... no more pictures from the internet... i wanna c it with my own to eyes...

look at this photo... just look at it... though it is abit blur but look beyond the blur-ness... look at how vast the sky is... its limitless... don't u ever wonder wat its like to look on the mountain on the other side of this picture??? to c how beautiful the earth looks...

i've decide to change my dream to a reality... where i can c the world using my own to eyes... i promise myself that i will do that before i die... so thats y i've chosen to study astronomy... wat do think i should do to fufill my dreams???!!